Expecting!
March 26, 2011
Mother nature has a funny way of planning your life for you. Just as I thought we'd figured things out at a comfortable pace, our family discovered that we're expecting our second baby. This summer will be exciting for us; James turns 3 April 27, Noah will be busy as he tackles his business on his own, a new baby at the beginning of August, preschool come September. Aaah! Sometimes I wonder if I'm cut out for this working mom stuff; yes, taking care of children (mine and yours) is WORK; and other times I'm certain that I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. One of the joys of being self-employed is that there will be no relaxing, designated bonding time; no maternity leave or EI. Hence, I'm a little stressed about how things will pan out. My logic is this:
a) I don't get a break or "leave" from parenting James, so a couple of extra little bodies is not really a big deal.
b) Newborns are notoriously difficult; they don't eat or sleep like humans and consequently neither do their parents. I will be tired, frazzled, possibly impatient and grumpy and shouldn't inflict this sort of care on other people's children.
c) I need to make SOME money; it's either stay home with my kids and others, or get a job. Childcare for 2 children, even part time, will be a considerable expense; will I bring home enough money to make the sacrifice of bonding, regular nursing, an available parent, play time, home-cooked meals, fresh baking, security and routine for my children worthwhile?
As soon as I think I've decided one way or the other, I have some breakthrough that changes my mind. I'm waiting now; to see how I feel, to see how the money is, to see how many kids stay and how many move on. I will miss seeing all of them play together no matter what happens - even keeping one or two "extra" turkeys sounds more and more like a great idea everyday. I guess I'll just keep on hurrying up and waiting!
a) I don't get a break or "leave" from parenting James, so a couple of extra little bodies is not really a big deal.
b) Newborns are notoriously difficult; they don't eat or sleep like humans and consequently neither do their parents. I will be tired, frazzled, possibly impatient and grumpy and shouldn't inflict this sort of care on other people's children.
c) I need to make SOME money; it's either stay home with my kids and others, or get a job. Childcare for 2 children, even part time, will be a considerable expense; will I bring home enough money to make the sacrifice of bonding, regular nursing, an available parent, play time, home-cooked meals, fresh baking, security and routine for my children worthwhile?
As soon as I think I've decided one way or the other, I have some breakthrough that changes my mind. I'm waiting now; to see how I feel, to see how the money is, to see how many kids stay and how many move on. I will miss seeing all of them play together no matter what happens - even keeping one or two "extra" turkeys sounds more and more like a great idea everyday. I guess I'll just keep on hurrying up and waiting!
Posted by Rachel.